Chapter EightPosted: January 4, 2014
Happy New Year! Even though I’ve said it already, I figure it would be better to say it now since this is the first post on this blog o 2014! Wooo! I have a few things to shed light on (once again) before I get into the chapter. First, hope everyone is having a great 2014 so far :). Two, I wasn’t sure if I expressed this concern previously or not, but it was something that came up with the last update. I at first thought that this generation would only be about ten chapters, which I really don’t want the generations to be like that. I compare this legacy with my simself legacy, and on that blog each generation ranges roughly 14 chapters and I like that length. I always make rainbowcies shorter and I don’t like that. But! My creative mind got to working today and I think this generation will (hopefully) be longer than ten chapters-just something to look forward to.
Thirdly, the family tree has minor spoilers just letting you know. I know there’s a warning already on that page, but just thought I’d give a heads up. And lastly, I changed my editing style with these screenshots, and like them way better than what I’ve been doing, so they might look this way from now on. I want a new editing program, and hopefully get a little more photochop savvy so they can look even better.
I’d also like to give credit and thanks to the poses used by Chibkisims (I might of spelled it wrong! sorry) and Splaudoum. And I’d like to give credit to Aikea-Guinea for the props used.
Alright, *sight of relief* I think that is all for now. Sorry for the major introductions. If you guys just knew what I was going to say this wouldn’t be a problem XD. Hope you enjoy the update!
NOTE: ADULT THEMES AND SITUATIONS WILL BE CONVEYED IN THIS UPDATE. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT, PLEASE DO NOT READ. These adult situations include, alcohol abuse and prescription abuse. Also, minor bloodied up face and facial woulds are shown. Again, if you cannot handle this please do not read.
And this chapter will have the same POV throughout, Meri’s.
Well here we are again. Or at least I am. Once again, left in the dust with a broken heart from another berry fudging man. I don’t see why this keeps happening to me. I’m not like other women who fling themselves at men. I’m reserved and shy. I let them in too easily, that’s what it is. I’m right aren’t I? Berry fudge, I just want this cycle to end! I deserve to be happy and to stay happy. The only happiness that’s lasted is having Apple here in town and having someone to talk to endlessly. I can’t say I was truly happy with Strudel because I wasn’t, he just wanted to use me and make me the perfect berry woman. As for Tangerine…..I, I can honestly say I was happy when he was here. I don’t know what it is, but something about him just makes my face light up and my stomach have butterflies. But, that feelings is gone. All I feel is a big hole in the pit of my stomach. A big chunk of my heart was ripped away too. I’m hurting, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to bounce back from this one.
Apple wasn’t too keen on hearing my woes and moping around about Tangerine, so she made a few suggestions to me. Both of us know I want to have someone to call mine. That may sound like rushing things, but I’m not. I just want someone I can call all my own, and he do the same. Life isn’t running short nor is my biological clock for that matter, but I don’t want to be waiting forever and I do want a family someday. A family with a marriage and kids. I’ve never been known as a jealous person, but seeing Apple and her family makes me earn for that. I’m sure she knows that and sees that. I think that’s why she’s done with my moping and bawling around. She suggested to try online dating, and then looking the guy up before I meet them? I don’t know if I should invade their privacy like that though. But, I did make a profile and did meet someone on here. We recently had a date too. His name is Bourbon Fountain. He’s very cute and nice.
He seemed sweet and he made me smile, but something told me this wasn’t what I should be doing. I don’t know if its because our date wasn’t a huge success or I was being close minded. I just couldn’t shake that feeling that this wasn’t right. I tried blaming it on the date the whole time. We went to the summer festival and when we arrived, it started to rain and hail. I starting taking that as a sign that this wasn’t supposed to happen. He apologized, but I told him it was fine and that mother nature can’t be predicted.
The second sign was that I could see differences within us early on. Now, I’m not saying I don’t appreciate differences within people. I wouldn’t want everyone to be like me obviously, but to me this was something important being that I am a garden baby. I love the outdoors, and every season. Winter isn’t the best since it puts me out of a job, but its still beautiful and fun. I got the feeling Bourbon didn’t like anything other than sunshine and seventy-five degrees.
“Oh berry no! Its starting to hail now! Ouch! I hate this kind of weather.” he complained
“What? Why? This is mother nature’s way of replenishing the earth and making everything prosper.” I chimed
It seems stupid, but something was giving me these signs.
I do have to say though he made the best out of the weather. He joked and asked if I wanted to enter the eating contest. I laughed and told him he was crazy. But, he wasn’t kidding apparently. So, that’s what we did. We actually entered the contest, and boy was that a bad mistake. He seemed excited and looked like a man of food, and who enjoyed food. Which, is no problem by any means. I’m not that kind of girl. I’m glad he had fun at least, me on the other hand almost threw up in front of everyone. Which, didn’t make the rest of the date too much fun. I felt sick the whole time.
But, towards the end of our date that’s when I realized what I was actually feeling, and why nothing seemed right.I wasn’t ready to move on yet. I rushed things to make myself feel better. Feel that empty void in my heart. Poor Bourbon, he had to take me on a meaningless date. I wish I could of took back time, but I just had to let me know the truth. He seemed nice enough to understand and I thought maybe we could be good friends. It just wasn’t fair to him. The whole time I thought of what Tangerine would do if he was here, or what would we do? Tangerine is still all I thought about.
“Bourbon, I have something I need to say.” I frowned
“You didn’t like the date did you?” he frowned back
“Oh no no, it was a fun date! I just need to tell you that I couldn’t enjoy the date and your company because I’m still not over the last man I had relations with. I’m sorry. I know that’s not fair to you and I thought I was ready. But, truth is I’ not. ”
“Oh. Well that’s okay. I understand, I wouldn’t want you to dive right into something you weren’t ready for. I’m glad you told me too. This last guy must of really had an impression on you huh?”
“Yeah, he sure did.” I felt a small smile come across my face
“Well, if you ever want to do something again, give me a call alright?” he smiled
“I’ll definitely keep that in mind.”
Over the next week, I found myself getting more distressed and sad over Tangerine and his antics. I been trying to fight through it the best way I know how. I couldn’t go anywhere without thinking or being reminded of him. He’s been in every inch of my home, in my garden, the beach, and everywhere else around Apple Loosa Pie. I wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse really. All I know is that these tears were real and falling far too often. I was hurt and alone. But yet, I missed him. I hate to admit it, and I sound crazy for saying it. But, I really do. I miss him and I just want to see him again. Even if its just see him or talk to him one last time. That’s all I want. No, that’s what I need.
I know Apple didn’t want to hear about this, but I needed her to know. I didn’t want to go do this and surprise her later on. She may be a good friend, but she can snap very easily and has no problem giving up friends. Even if we are best friends. She needs to know how I feel and what I intend to do. I was both scared and nervous to tell her, but she’s my friend and always knows what to say.
“Okay, so what did you want to talk about now?” she huffed
“Its about Tangerine.” I answered quietly
“Meri, I told you I didn’t want-“
“Just wait a minute though. I’m not defending him or anything.”
“Ugh, okay. What about the scumbag 0f a berry then?” she scoffed
“Its just that, well lately…no, ever since he left….” I stammered
“I miss him. I truly miss him. I don’t know why, but I can’t help but want to see and talk to him.”
“You miss him? How? After what he did to you?” she asked, her anger slowly rising
“Well I’m not defending what he did. He was a menace for lying and doing that to me.” I scowled
“Oh don’t even get me started on what he did to you. What kind of man does that to a girl he knows has strong feelings for him?”
Apple didn’t like Tangerine from the start, and she certainly isn’t his biggest fan now. She had every right not to be, but I had to try to make her understand my feelings. If this was December we were talking about, and she was in my place she’d feel the same way.
“I wish I could tell you why and how, but I can’t help but yearn for him.”
“Yeah, I wish you could tell me too Meri. But, I can tell you really mean it. You really do miss him, I can see it in your eyes.” she sighed
“I think I might eve….love him.” I whispered
“Wait, what? Now you love him?”
“Yes, I do and I would really like your support. You are my best friend and over this past year you’ve seen my lowest points and high points. I want you to support me and my feelings about him. It seems so wrong, but yet so right. I’m telling you this because I know you will be there for me.”
“Oh Meri, I’m sorry for being a bad Apple about it all. I just want what’s best for you and don’t like to see you hurting.” she pulled me into a hug
“Thanks, and I know you’re only doing your job as a friend. But, I don’t want to do anything drastic without telling you either.” I admitted
“What do you mean drastic?”
“I’m going to go see him Briocheport. I know you probably think that’s crazy but that’s the only way I’ll ever see him again, and I’m going to apologize to him.”
“Are you sure about that? Is that right thing to do, go surprise him?” she asked
“Probably not, but I need to see him and sort things out. What else can I do? This isn’t a phone conversation and he would ignore my call even if I tried.” I explained
“Well, alright then. Just be careful and don’t do anything stupid.”
And so that’ what I did. Of course I did some minor planning and saving up money. It took me about two weeks to put everything in order and be prepared. I bought my train ticket, mapped out my journey, looked up Tangerine’s address, and worked up what I was going to say to him. This all seemed crazy then and now. I would of never thought I’d be the one chasing a guy down. But, I feel good about this, with a little bit of hesitation on the side. The train ride wasn’t long at all, but took longer since I don’t have a car and really don’t like to drive. Eventually I managed to flag down a taxi and told them the address. I was dropped off at the corner by his apartment complex. I was in total awe when I got out of the car. I was surrounded completely by tall buildings and it was so noisy from all the bustling berries and traffic. It was definitely a different pace than Apple Loosa Pie, and explained a lot about Tangerine.
I walked into his apartment complex and couldn’t believe how small the lobby was. Why did city berries think smaller and compact is better? I can’t believe he lives like this. I could never live in an apartment. I looked over at the directory, and there were so many names. Apple told me you usually had to buzz to be let in. I quickly scanned to find his name. I stopped when my finger was pressed firmly over his name. Just seeing his name before my eyes made my heart flutter. This was it. This was the dreaded conversation that would either give us closer or end us.
I stopped before pressing the button next to name to collect my thoughts and run everything over in my mind. I was starting to have second thoughts and was conflicting with myself. I had to keep telling myself you came all this way for a reason, and that reason being you want him. But, the other side kept telling me that he might just fill you up with more sadness and doubt and you’ll regret this decision for the rest of your life. So many thoughts, and so many good reasons behind each one.
Nope, I wasn’t backing out of this. I was going to press that button and talk to the man I love. I clicked the buzzer, and was buzzed in automatically? I thought that was weird since they usually ask who it is. But, I didn’t dwell on it. I head my breath as I stepped onto the elevator.
When I got off the elevator, it was a single floor with two apartments. the floor was very small and I looked at both apartment numbers to find Tangerine’s. I stared at his door. I smiled, but quickly frowned remembering this might not turn out to be a happy meeting. I knocked on the door calling out his name. No answer. He knows its me and isn’t going to answer the door.
Great. I thought to myself.
But, I had to keep trying. I knocked again and called out his name. I tried saying that all I wanted to do was talk and wanted to see him. But, no response. I put my ear against the door and listened to see if I could hear him moving around. But, all I could hear was the tv blared and it was starting to become fuzzy like it had been left on for quite some time. This made me a little worried. I tried not to think of what could of possibly happened, but I made the choice to just go in. I turned the knob, and the door was unlocked. I let myself in and came to see the tv that was giving off so much noise.
I stood there taking in the apartment, it was quite small and looked like no one lived here. It was so cold and strange.
“He lives here?” I said quietly.
It was quiet and unfamiliar. There was no personal touches of Tangerine, it was bland with color and style. I got the impression he barely spent his time here whether he likes it or not. Usually in berry culture you’re house reflects your berry nationality. I expected bright hues of orange to be scattered around, but its white and dull. The only thing that looked disturbed was the small kitchen table. I walked over to it slowly, not realizing that its obvious no one is probably home or he might be sleeping. I don’t know why I didn’t check the rooms when I first came in? When I walked over the tiny wooden table, I looked down with horrified eyes. At least three bottles of different kinds of alcohol and beside one, scattered pills.
Oh Tangerine no. He didn’t look the type to be into pill popping or have a drinking problem. Oh berry, what if our arguemnt lead him to this!? My eyes darted to the bottles and pills at that point. No, this can’t be my fault?But, what if it is? My heart started to pump faster and I scanned the room once more. This made me nervous and sick feeling. I ran into the bedroom and swung the door open looking for him. He wasn’t there. There was one more place to look. The bathroom. I was so scared and chilled to the bone. I didn’t want to look, but I had to.
I slowly walked to the bathroom door and once again pressed my ear to it, and I heard nothing. That gave me a sigh of relief and terrified me. What if he was in there and something happened to him? What if he tried to harm himself? All of these thoughts running through my mind. I slowly gripped the knob, and turned it. The door creaked open against the linoleum. That’s when I saw a pair of bright orange legs. I gasped and opened the door more, afraid to know what I’m about to see. I stared at the floor, looking at Tangerine laying there lifeless. Tears started forming in the corner of my eyes as I looked around at the two bottles and pills next to him. He tried to kill himself. What if this is because of me?
I threw my hand over my face, I didn’t want see this horrible sight anymore. I didn’t want to believe this moment is real. I had to do something, but was frozen. I needed to call for help! I pulled my cellphone dialing nine, one-one vigorously. I could barely speak to the operator on the other end. All I could make out was overdosed and bloodied face as I looked at him and screamed over the phone through my cries and tears. This couldn’t be happening. Not now, when I was going to make everything right.
Alright guys! That’s it for this chapter! Lots of drama and a cliffhanger :S
Stay tuned to see what happens next! I’m actually excited for the ending of this generation, and can’t wait to play and write it!