Hello hello again! 🙂 I am back with another chapter, but this one is a two-parter, as you’ve been warned. I’m sorry last chapter had such strong themes, and was quite depressing 😦 and fair warning, this chapter isn’t much better….
I’m hoping to get part two done this week too, and hopefully strive for chapter 8 this week, but we’ll see how that goes Lol. Don’t want to get too ambitious. Part one is relatively short, like 25 pics? I’m hoping part two isn’t that long either.
Otherwise, things to note…….
1. Profanity will most likely be used, you’ve been warned.
2. Disregard the unforeseen outfit change Clemmy does when she is in the water/ocean, just pretend she’s wearing her actual clothes lol, I haven’t figured out how to have it so they don’t automatically change in swimwear XD
3. Time also kinda moves a little fast in this chapter….
4. Anddd this chapter doesn’t directly address a strong theme of death, but if you read into it closely and carefully you’ll be able to figure out. If it makes you uncomfortable, or is too much for you, please do not read. I apologize in advance.
And as usual, told from Clementine’s POV, unless stated otherwise.
About a month later:
Um. Yeah. Wow. Its even harder to write it down.
Its….its been a month, since that day. I don’t know,…know how much I can talk about it, but I’ve read its healthy to talk about it, so I’m trying.
Luckily no one was home, when I stumbled in tears through the front door. I slowly shut the door, and collapsed to the floor. I don’t know how long I cried, his face and voice kept ringing in my ears. His hands, and his body. I could still feel all of it. No matter how many showers I’ve taken, and am still taking. I can’t wash him off or out of me. I feel so degraded. I threw out any clothes I wore around him, trying to box away his memory. But, everyday his sly and sneaky smile creeps into my mind. The first few weeks I would wake up in a cold sweat and breathing frantically. I had to lie to everyone telling them it was just a bad dream. But, in reality it wasn’t just a dream. It was a true nightmare.
I tried keeping busy, by changing my clothes and look so I wasn’t reminded of what he “liked”, working on my novel, and even looking online for information. But….nothing worked. I couldn’t write about a strong female character when my soul has been shattered into tiny pieces. I didn’t have the guts to admit what happened, even to a stranger online, and changing my clothes didn’t help either. He had me wrapped around this twisted game, and I was running around blindly with no way out.
Other days, the good days as I call them, my body just becomes lethargic and I lay around everywhere mopping in self-pity. I call these good days because instead of hysterically crying and tearing myself at the seams, I’m just feeling sorry for myself and am more somber.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days I had, and I’m still not quite recovered from it. I was sorta waiting for how long someone would realize I haven’t really been myself for this past month. I haven’t talked to anyone in the house, especially Straw. I did’t think it would take her this long to realize I didn’t gush over my so-called date, but I think she was busy winning over some new boytoy. Which is fine. I needed the distraction. I was worried she was going to ask me the morning after, but I managed to elude her. That was until yesterday.
“Hey hey, Ms. Moscato, how did that date go of yours? Its been a month and you haven’t given me any of the juicy ideas yet?!” she came into the room smiling and playfully noted
I quickly cringed at the idea of my “date”. “Yeah, some date. If only you knew.” is what I thought. But, she mustn’t know. No one can know. Would only make things worse. I slowly sighed, and then something snapped. His voice and face came flooding to my mind, and it was like he was right in front of me again. I broke.
“What is it to you?! So what if I didn’t tell you, its my personal life okay!” I screamed
Unfortunately, my tone was hoarse and very serious. The total opposite of what I’m normally like, and Straw could tell. She was very taken back with how I reacted, and wasn’t sure what to do. But, my blow up wasn’t finished yet.
“Whoa, okay, sorry. I was just asking since you seemed-“
“Well just forget about the whole thing. Just forget I told you about him, and how I felt about him. Its not important and you shouldn’t care. Its not your life to worry about, so just stay the berry butt out! “
That’s when I whipped my head around in angst and waited for her to walk way and just forget about the whole conversation and the existence of that berry of a man I mentioned to her. But, the damage was done, and it would take more than an apology to talk to her again.
“Fine. If that’s how you want to be.” she quietly responded
I didn’t say anything, because I was fighting back tears and sobs. She couldn’t see me like that.
“Well when you decide to get rid of the berry foot that’s stuck up your ass, you let me know. Also, when you want to stop being a bitch, apologize and explain yourself, let me know. Otherwise I don’t see any reason to talk to you further if you’re not going to be my friend and accept my friendship. I thought we had trust.”
I didn’t bother establishing eye contact with her, I was too angry, sad and ashamed to look her in the eye. I waited until she stormed out of the house, probably to go blow off steam. I rushed into the bedroom, I couldn’t hold in my feelings any longer. All I could do was cry and let the tears stream down my face.
Great, now I pushed one of my friends away. I didn’t want to, but thinking about him plays with my emotions violently. I either get irate or clinically depressed. I’m on a emotional roller coaster and don’t know how to let people in. Worse yet, I don’t want to let them in. I just want to shut everyone out, and be in the corner by myself.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t talk about, but I want to open up. But, I can’t. It feels impossible. I can’t walk around with such a burden and heavy heart. I just, I need air. I’m feeling suffocated in this house of people I trust and know but yet, can’t tell them the one thing I know I have to confess.
I need to walk it off and clear my head.
I didn’t care if it was storming out and pouring rain. I found it fitting actually, seems mother nature is feeling what I’m feeling and she somehow understands me. For awhile I just let the rain hit my skin. My skin was still burning from getting so worked up. The cooling sensation felt like a slow cleanse.
I took my time getting there, after all it was all the way on the other side of town. I avoided walking past the university in case someone I know or have made an acquaintance with saw me. Looking at all of the brightly colored houses, and little kids peering outside the window frowning because of the rain. I imagine that they wanted to go play in the rain, but their parents shook their fingers. Oh to be young and innocent. That’s when it was all easy. Being adult makes things complicated. You can be on top of the world one minute, and down in a six foot grave the next. Life was that ride you always wanted to take when you weren’t tall enough, but now that you are, you’re scared for your life and now want to get off as soon as you got on.
When I reached the beach the rain had slowly led up. It was just a drizzle now. I saw an open long chair, and decided to take a seat and gaze into the beautiful scenery. I watched every little ripple form from each water droplet landing o the surface and causing the disturbance. My mother was right, the beach here is beautiful. So peaceful. Reminds me of the real love my parents have for each other. I believe she said that this is where my dad first kissed her or told her he had feelings for her. Such a lovely place.
That’s when I looked at the water rippling around and splashing from some fish shooting out of the water. It made me smile, another organism who is free to swim and live with no betrayal. So liberating. I’m not entirely sure if it was that, or some unnatural force enticed me to get closer to the cold water and the small waves crashing into the beach. But, I wanted a closer look.
I slowly crept up to the shoreline. Staring through the water, looking at the sandy and muddy bottom. I just wanted to stick my feet in and feel how mushy it is….
That’s when I didn’t hesitate, I decided to go for it. I didn’t care if it was raining or cold out. The water was calling my name in little whispers and I obeyed them. I first went knee deep in. It was chilling, but invigorating. I almost had to gasp to catch my breath again. Didn’t expect the clear waters to take me by surprise.
That’s when I wanted to go farther and deeper into the water.
That’s when I slowly started to submerge my body into the clear blue sea, letting the waves hit him and push me every which way. It made me smile, the water felt so dense and cool against my body, as my clothes became drenched in them. It was just as calming as it looked. I couldn’t help but twirl in the water, and swim around some. It was like I was a kid and it was bath time and all the cares in the world didn’t matter. I just had to become master of the sea.
That’s when I floated on my back, and looked up at the sky as more rain droplets kept hitting my face and the water surrounding me. I lifted my hands up to feel the rain hit my palms. That’s when I shut my eyes, taking it all in. It was so peaceful and serene. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I just let the water engulf me whole, and I slowly slide through the water, I only opened up eyes for a moment to see the sky start to darken as I slid further into the water .
As the world around me grew silent, I felt my lips slowly smile. Remembering what life once was, so easy and quiet. I want to get back to that. Maybe this was the only way to do achieve that once again.
Alrighty! That’s Part One! I hope it wasn’t too heart heavy for you as last one was :3 though, this one isn’t much better. I hope I didn’t provoke too many feelings of hurt or negativity, I tried to be subtle about it. I didn’t want to warn you exactly what it was in the beginning because that would of ruined the chapter, but let me know if more of a warning would be appropriate please. Don’t want anyone offended.
Also, I can’t seem to find the sheet where I wrote done the creator of the one pose used I’m sorry! I appreciate whoever created it though! As multiples uses.
I’m not sure when Part Two will be out. As of today and the past three days I haven’t been feeling the best. Not sure if I have a fever or my apartment is just really hot haha, and I haven’t had much of an appetite. Along with that had some lower right abdominal pain….which I know can’t be my ovary since I don’t have the right one anymore, and I’m wondering if its appendicitis since I have three of the symptoms, but I’m discouraged because the pain only comes when I’m laying down and ready to sleep? I think if it was appendicitis it would be constant, so hopefully its not that. Can’t afford that right now, once you have issues with your appendix they just remove it right away, and with school starting a week from today….I don’t think so haha. If anyone thinks its appendicitis let me know haha because a second opinion would be nice. I know i should go to urgent care or ER but I was there oct-dec for abdominal pain and all they told me is that I have “painful periods” which it clearly is not since I’m not on my period, and they just tell me they don’t know what it is. So I’m not chancing it again to be there for 4 hours with no results.
Well its only been about 4 months since our last update…..yeah, I’m very sorry about that. I got caught up with school, having a relationship and other sim projects that were just has neglected. I always put too many projects on my plate, but that’s because I can get bored easily with plotty stories and sometimes you need a break. But, I’m here and plan on updating this legacy for awhile! I’m hoping to get a few chapters out before I switch to a different one 🙂 I’m sorry for the long awaited chapter.
Anywho, there is a lot to mention about this update. First, as for pictures its very short, than usual. Why? Because its going to be more word heavy, this is also one of the major plots of this generation so its an important chapter. Now for the warnings and disclaimers…….
A few NOTES to be aware of:
1. Sim-related violence is displayed and wrote out in this chapter. I would consider it to be graphic, and uncomfortable to many people. Mainly violence against women in this chapter, and it could strike a cord with some people, so please do not read if this makes you uncomfortable or angry.
2. Brings me to the fact that violence is portrayed in this chapter, as well as other STRONG and ADULT themes. If you are not of age to be comfortable with these themes, please, please DO NOT read. I don’t want complaints or people to be offended.
3. Graphic poses will be used to give life to the situation and action. I will credit those creators at the end, but just to note in case it may make you uncomfortable. This is solely for story-telling purposes.
4. Profanity will be used most likely. Again, for character development and story-telling purposes only.
5. Sim nudity or NSFW (Not Suitable For Work) is in this chapter. Nothing too realistic, but its there. Mainly just a shirtless female, and shirtless male. But, important to note if you don’t want to see that while reading.
6. Lastly, I DO NOT condone any kind of violence against any organism on this earth that is unjust. This is a story. This does not reflect my views, and again only for story-telling purposes. I don’t have anything against women, or men. Purely a story, and nothing more.
Now, if I haven’t scared you away, we will begin the chapter. I just want to make sure everyone knows what is expected in this chapter before they dive right in. It may be a story, but these are real situations that could happen to anyone and readers need to be aware.
Oh, and as usual chapter will be told from Clemmy’s POV. Time also seems to pass kinda fast in this chapter. Anddd since I recently downloaded/bought Supernatural a few weeks back I’m still figuring out the best editing for when sims our outside. I don’t use fancy photoshop because I don’t see it necessary, but the sims might seem a little dark and unclear but I did my best to edit without overdoing it.
“So!? Tell me about your date with mr. coffee creamer!” Straw laid on the floor next to me
“Isn’t that kind of personal?” I thought outloud
“What? Nooooo! Girl this is what friends are for! Spill the berry beans to me!”
“Oh my berry Straw. He is the perfect man, every berry girl’s dream guy. “
“Oh really? How so?” she giggled
*swoons* “Ahh he’s just so perfect. He likes to read, I like to read and I write. He’s in the medical field, so he likes to help people. Admirable trait if I do say so myself. He’s just so sweet and caring. He has a sense of humor, thinks I’m funny. I also seem to come out of my shell with him. Most men aren’t capable of that. Its a weird feeling with him. I can just tell he really likes me and I like him.” I swooned lying on the floor, spilling every last detail to her.
“Oh my berry!!! I’m so happy for you Clemmy!”
“Really? You mean it? You think he could be the one?”
“Of course he could be!” she cheered, pulling me into a hug
“Well, I know that being monogamous isn’t really your thing, so I want your honest opinion.” I admitted
“Oh. Well, I have been in relationships before. I just want to have fun for the time being. Plus, I know its important to you and I won’t lie to you. I mean, I would have to admit him to give you my full opinion but let’s not jump to conclusions.” she smiled
“Yeah, don’t need that right now.”
“But, I will say this just because I’m your friend, and a woman. Please be careful okay Clemmy? I’m not saying mr. coffee creamer is-“
“His name is Choc.” I cut in
“Oh, right. That doesn’t mean Choc is a bad guy, but not all guys are good even if they come off being perfect princes. I don’t want to see you get in deep and then have your heart ripped out and stomped on is all. I have your back, but you have to have your own skin too. Please do that for me?” she said
“I don’t know if Choc is really like that Straw. I mean he has got to be the sweetest man alive.”
“Clemmy. I mean it. I’m saying this as your friend, not your mother. Plus, haven’t you been hurt in the past?”
That’s when I reverted back to my sweet, innocent teenage years. Yes, yes I have been hurt before. That led to some of the emotional problems I still battle today. I let people in too easily, and I end up getting hurt one way or another. I was told love, and all I knew was love from that sweet boy and then he ripped it out of my hands like it was nothing.
“Yes, I have. I almost forgot…..I’ll try to be careful.” I half-smiled
About Two Weeks Later:
A few weeks later, it seemed that Choc was all I could think about. I kept seeing his million dollar, milky white smile and his dark, brown eyes everywhere I went. He made it difficult for me to concentrate on my studies and and many creative writing papers that I seemed to have piled up. I wanted to really work on my novel idea more too, but what kind of strong-willed, independent woman falls in love that quickly and that’s what seems to be happening to me as the days slowly go by without speaking to him.
Choc Bean. I found myself repeating his name over and over in my head. Eventually, that lead to Mrs. Clementine Bean. Hmm, has a nice ring doesn’t it Clem? Oh my berry. Its like I’m a teenager all over again, foolishly in love with a man I barely know. But, I couldn’t help it. He was my dream guy, literally. Its too good to be true. But, you know its real when you can’t stop thinking about that one person. He penetrates every thought I have. He’s like that favorite berry candy you can’t seem to resist every time you see it.
It didn’t help that I kept thinking about what Straw told me too. “Be careful”, those two simple words were floating around in my head all week. I wasn’t sure if I should just shrug them off and just go with my heart’s content or if foreshadowing was going to take place and Straw had a way of knowing these things. What if he ended up not being the man I thought he was or want. I don’t want to be that lovestruck girl who gets hurt again.
Later on that day, while I was walking to the kitchen for my fifth cup of coffee, I heard my phone ringing. I quickly set down my mug, and swiped the screen. It was Choc calling. Oh berry.
“Hello?” I said
“Why hello there. Is this the lovely Ms. Moscato I am speaking to?” he chimed
Oh berry he did know how to charm a girl.
“Why yes it is. This is Choc I presume?”
“Haha yes it is. I’m calling to inquire whether you would want to go see a movie with me this upcoming Friday night?”
“Hmm this Friday I might have to check my non-existent social calendar to see if I can make it.” I chuckled
“Haha oh I’m not worth it now? Your lips tell a different story.” he shot back
“Haha you caught my bluff. I would love to go see a movie with you.”
“Great! I’ll pick you up around six-thirty?”
“Sounds like a date.” I smiled
Maybe this will the date where I really decide what my gut is trying to tell me about Choc. I know I can’t wait to see him again, and that cheeky smile of his. I can only hope I’ll have as much fun as last time I was with him.
That Friday Night:
The whole week flew by and next thing I knew it was Friday evening and I was preparing for another amazing date with Choc. At least I think we’re calling it a date. I decided just to be casual the whole time, and take in everything wit ease. I’m not going to worry about whether he’s a good guy or not. Presumed innocent until proven guilty right?
“Well there’s the woman I just have been dying to see all week.” he smiled big
“Haha oh really? Well, here I am.” I smiled back
“Are you ready to go then?”
“Yes. Have you picked a movie out or do you need help deciding?”
“Ohh I think I got it under control” he teased
“Just checking.” I let out a chuckle
Turns out he picked a sci-fi warfare type movie. I was a little surprised. I pictured him taking me to a romance or romantic comedy. It was interesting. A movie about an invasive virus infecting berries and turning them into man-eating carnivores. It was a little scary, but gave us something to talk about shortly after the movie. He’s more of the type for conversation then physical actions. I admire that about him.
“You sure do know how to pick em'” I laughed
“Haha is that a hint of disapproval I sense?” he teased, grabbing my hands
“No of course not. It was interesting, just surprised that’s what you chose.”
“Ahh well I figured since most of our conversations are intellectual and I’ve come to realize you’re very different than most berry women I meet, I wanted to pick that brain of yours. You’re a very intelligent woman Ms. Clementine Moscato, and that I admire.”
“Awe Choc. You’re too sweet.” I gushed
“Not as sweet as you.” he slowly leaned in for a kiss
After he kissed me, he slowly turned and started to walk me home. We weren’t in any hurry, so we kept our pace rather slow. I liked how his hand felt holding mine. It was so warm, and inviting. He knew how to make me feel comfortable and safe with him.
We talked about everything under the berry sun once again. Most about the movie, and how that could potentially tie into our real world. Plus, him having the medical background his perspective was intriguing to listen to. He seems to really enjoy my opinions as well. How could I even think that he is one bad berry? He’s so nice and down to Earth. I don’t know why Straw had to go and say that to me. He’s done nothing to make me think otherwise.
That’s when we decided to take the bike trial that leads right to my backyard. It was romantic in a sense. The moonlight glow on us, the wind slowly blowing the leaves and the crisp air. Reminded me how fast summer is ending. While I was admiring the scenery and the perfect moment we were in, Choc let go of my hand and turned to face me.
“I am curious though, how many lucky guys have you been with?” he let out a small smile
“Why is that important?” I questioned
“I just want to know. You’re such a sweet girl, it must not be that many.”
“That’s kinda private Choc. I don’t really feel comfortable telling you.”
“Awe please? I won’t judge. I’m just a curious fellow.” he stepped closer, smiling wider
“I’m sor-sor-sorry I can’t. You’re making me too uncomfortable. Maybe another time.” I winced
That’s when he stepped closer, cupping my chin in his hands. He slowly lifted my chin up too look at him, and he smiled.
“Well, maybe instead of telling me you could just show me.” he whispered, his voice becoming huskier
I wasn’t sure how to react, I was still really uncomfortable with the topic he wanted to discuss, and I wasn’t sure what he really meant.
“Wha-wha-what do you mean?” I stuttered in confusion
“I mean you could show me how experienced you are with men.”
He slowly moved his hand from holding my chin up, down to my hips, and shifted closer to me. His face inches from mine, looking deep into my eyes. And, how experienced I was? But, I’m not. I don’t. I mean? No. This is too unfamiliar to me and makes me uncomfortable.
It felt like a lifetime with him just staring at me with no emotions and no words. I didn’t know how to react or what to say. That’s when he leaned to kiss me, but I didn’t want that. Or this whole conversation. I pulled away and tried to push him away.
“What, what are you doing Choc? I do not want this. Not now and definitely not here. I told you I am uncomfortable with it still.” my voice quivering
“Its just one little kiss Clementine. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” he mumbled in my shoulder
“No, this is not just a kiss. This clearly means something much more than that and I am not ready for that. I think its best I just go home and we talk about this later.”
“What? You are not leaving. I brought you out for a good time and we are going to finish having a good time.”
His tone had shifted from playful to serious. I didn’t like how it sounded. It scared me, and I just wanted to leave. This was not the man I originally came out with.
(Quick reminder: These are adult themes that are next and graphic images. Please if these make you uncomfortable, do not read. Some sim nudity is displayed as well. Again, for storytelling purposes only. But, please do not look at the pictures or read if you are uncomfortable)
I tried to walk away, but he quickly grabbed my arm and whipped me around, forcing me closer to him.
“You are not going anywhere. You are going to enjoy yourself by yours truly. I want you and I will have you.” he gritted through his teeth, his grip tightening around my arm
I was speechless, and fear was starting to set in. I did not want this. I wanted to say something, but I opened my mouth and nothing came out. my legs started to shake, and I couldn’t stand on my own for much longer.
“Oh? Looks like someone is ready for me too. You do know how to make a man happy Clementine.”
That’s when he forced me to the ground, and climbed ontop of me. He pinned my arms and legs so I couldn’t escape by any means. He tore my clothes off, and undressed himself. I started to close my eyes.
“No! Don’t you dare close your eyes. I want to see the look in your eyes as I give you the night of your life.” he ordered
I just wanted it all to end quickly. I opened my eyes, and tears started to swell up. I didn’t want this. Why me? What did I do?….That’s when he slowly thrust himself into me, I cried with every minute he was pouring himself in me. I wanted it all to end. I wanted to beg him to stop, but my voice was gone. I was so scared I couldn’t say anything. Just emotions. He kept telling me how I was enjoying myself and how lucky I was to have a man like him treat me so well. It seemed to go on forever, until I could see the sun start to come up. That’s when he finished.
“I hope you enjoyed yourself Ms. Moscato. I know I did, and I know you’ll always remember it.”
As he walked off, I started to cry harder. I just wanted to crawl up in a little hole and leave the reality I was forced into. Everything hurt. My body, my feelings and my whole world was just shaken to its core. A man I just trusted betrayed me, and acted as if I wasn’t even worth being a berry. That man violated me in the worst possible way.
He, he raped me.
I am sorry if anyone was offended or uncomfortable. But, I like to make these stories come to life. I hope that all of the warnings I gave were appropriate, and if not, please let me know if I could of said something differently. I apologize if this upset anyone, was not my intention.
Trunk of Poses 4 by SiMul8rReviews
Couch Couple Pose by chibikins/Fairsteadsims
Sweet Couple Pose 4 by Sagaro
aku 01 and 02 by Akuiyumi
Please Don’t by Cobalt Rae Productions
a_p_h_01 (1 and 2) and a_p_h_02 (1 and 2) by Pchan
Let’s Talk Right Pose 4 by Leith Drew
Thank you for reading and waiting four long months, and even until 2015 for this update. I’m hoping chapters and storytelling will be easier as the ideas are flowing now that I got the main plot out.